children and grief
by：Yufengling
2019-08-08
\"Don\'t leave me!
The little girl with a pink ribbon in her hair cried, and her aunt and young cousin said yes --
Meet her at Denver airport.
I came back from the bereavement skills training session in Colorado and sat next to the little girl and her grandmother.
The grandmother held her and tried to comfort the young child while she was crying.
\"There, there,\" said the grandmother.
\"Auntie won\'t let you cry in June.
That\'s how it started.
\"Denial\" of the normal response to grief \".
We are sad when we lose the people or things we love.
However, as a society, we are so quick to try to eliminate the pain and grief and \"repair\" the injured children.
Sadness is a normal, natural response to any type of loss.
When we think of sorrow, we think of death.
But as humans, we are sad for all types of loss, whether it is the death of loved ones (Still not so love! )
Death of a person, pet, move to a new community, divorce of parents, end of relationship, or loss of dream or work.
Sadness is a physical and emotional response to the loss of someone or something.
This is a mixture of conflicting emotions and reactions from sadness and anger to guilt or relief.
The sadness of everyone is unique.
My sadness doesn\'t look like yours, yours doesn\'t look like yours, your child\'s sadness doesn\'t look like their siblings.
Sadness is often present in our bodies, as can be seen from changes in confusion, inability to focus, awkwardness, interruption of sleep, appetite, or energy levels.
When we are sad, it is no coincidence that we are at greater risk of having a car accident or falling down the stairs.
Once possibly outgoing sad children may now be withdrawn, or once easygoing children are now beating or kicking other children on the playground.
The first sign of a child\'s grief is a drop in grades or a lack of attention at school.
Children may forget about their homework, sportswear or lunch.
Children are as sad as adults, but their sadness looks different.
Children\'s attention is not the same as adults, so they go in and out sad-
Cry for a minute, play for the next minute.
Mourning is a public expression of our sadness, or something we do and say to express our feelings.
Some say we live in death.
Denying society when it is more accurately a mourning
Avoid society.
We are praised for being strong, moving on, wiping away tears.
We tell the kids to be \"strong for Mom\" or \"you are the man at home now \".
\"The reality is that we need to allow and teach children how to mourn their losses in a healthy, constructive way.
One of the ways we mourn is to tell our losses over and over again, adults, older children and teenagers speak in words, and young children often play through them.
Our job is to provide supportive, loving, safe places and communities where children can handle their sadness.
I once had a mother who said to me, \"she (her daughter)
Lost only her father, I lost my husband.
\"It\'s understandable because we don\'t think children can be as sad as adults.
Similarly, sad children look different from sad adults.
They often go in and out sadly.
However, for many reasons, children need the help of adults when they lose.
Children have no experience knowing they will be fine.
They do not have the opportunity to develop skills to deal with painful feelings and emotions.
Their brains are still growing and growing!
The job of caring for adults is to provide unconditional love and acceptance, witness, and be with the child in pain without trying to repair or eliminate the pain.
My father died of cancer when I was 14.
My father is very interesting, caring and kind.
My first thought and fear is to know how we will pay the bill!
I decided it was my job to make sure my mom didn\'t feel lonely or sad.
Bring a lot of burden to yourself!
But this is typical of a child whose parents died.
Children are born to be themselves. centric --
We worry about who will take care of us and our lives will remain the same.
We hope we don\'t have to move, we will still get new clothes or go on vacation.
When some children resist, otherslike me)
Become more responsible, take on the housework, try to do the impossible-
Protect the rest of our parents from any feeling of sadness or loneliness.
Parents, teachers and adults often ask \"what should I say\" or \"What should I do\" when children they know have experienced painful losses \".
We say: give them your love.
Give them your time.
Give them your attention. Give them hope.
It doesn\'t matter what we do or say, it\'s important to serve them and pay attention to them.
Let the children feel all the feelings and give them a healthy way to release energy.
They can ride bikes, step on bubble packs, beat drums, listen to music, draw pictures and play.
Let them tell you their sadness.
The little girl with a pink ribbon in her hair cried, and her aunt and young cousin said yes --
Meet her at Denver airport.
I came back from the bereavement skills training session in Colorado and sat next to the little girl and her grandmother.
The grandmother held her and tried to comfort the young child while she was crying.
\"There, there,\" said the grandmother.
\"Auntie won\'t let you cry in June.
That\'s how it started.
\"Denial\" of the normal response to grief \".
We are sad when we lose the people or things we love.
However, as a society, we are so quick to try to eliminate the pain and grief and \"repair\" the injured children.
Sadness is a normal, natural response to any type of loss.
When we think of sorrow, we think of death.
But as humans, we are sad for all types of loss, whether it is the death of loved ones (Still not so love! )
Death of a person, pet, move to a new community, divorce of parents, end of relationship, or loss of dream or work.
Sadness is a physical and emotional response to the loss of someone or something.
This is a mixture of conflicting emotions and reactions from sadness and anger to guilt or relief.
The sadness of everyone is unique.
My sadness doesn\'t look like yours, yours doesn\'t look like yours, your child\'s sadness doesn\'t look like their siblings.
Sadness is often present in our bodies, as can be seen from changes in confusion, inability to focus, awkwardness, interruption of sleep, appetite, or energy levels.
When we are sad, it is no coincidence that we are at greater risk of having a car accident or falling down the stairs.
Once possibly outgoing sad children may now be withdrawn, or once easygoing children are now beating or kicking other children on the playground.
The first sign of a child\'s grief is a drop in grades or a lack of attention at school.
Children may forget about their homework, sportswear or lunch.
Children are as sad as adults, but their sadness looks different.
Children\'s attention is not the same as adults, so they go in and out sad-
Cry for a minute, play for the next minute.
Mourning is a public expression of our sadness, or something we do and say to express our feelings.
Some say we live in death.
Denying society when it is more accurately a mourning
Avoid society.
We are praised for being strong, moving on, wiping away tears.
We tell the kids to be \"strong for Mom\" or \"you are the man at home now \".
\"The reality is that we need to allow and teach children how to mourn their losses in a healthy, constructive way.
One of the ways we mourn is to tell our losses over and over again, adults, older children and teenagers speak in words, and young children often play through them.
Our job is to provide supportive, loving, safe places and communities where children can handle their sadness.
I once had a mother who said to me, \"she (her daughter)
Lost only her father, I lost my husband.
\"It\'s understandable because we don\'t think children can be as sad as adults.
Similarly, sad children look different from sad adults.
They often go in and out sadly.
However, for many reasons, children need the help of adults when they lose.
Children have no experience knowing they will be fine.
They do not have the opportunity to develop skills to deal with painful feelings and emotions.
Their brains are still growing and growing!
The job of caring for adults is to provide unconditional love and acceptance, witness, and be with the child in pain without trying to repair or eliminate the pain.
My father died of cancer when I was 14.
My father is very interesting, caring and kind.
My first thought and fear is to know how we will pay the bill!
I decided it was my job to make sure my mom didn\'t feel lonely or sad.
Bring a lot of burden to yourself!
But this is typical of a child whose parents died.
Children are born to be themselves. centric --
We worry about who will take care of us and our lives will remain the same.
We hope we don\'t have to move, we will still get new clothes or go on vacation.
When some children resist, otherslike me)
Become more responsible, take on the housework, try to do the impossible-
Protect the rest of our parents from any feeling of sadness or loneliness.
Parents, teachers and adults often ask \"what should I say\" or \"What should I do\" when children they know have experienced painful losses \".
We say: give them your love.
Give them your time.
Give them your attention. Give them hope.
It doesn\'t matter what we do or say, it\'s important to serve them and pay attention to them.
Let the children feel all the feelings and give them a healthy way to release energy.
They can ride bikes, step on bubble packs, beat drums, listen to music, draw pictures and play.
Let them tell you their sadness.
